bywiseguidance

[Johto, have an intensely displeased (one might even say pissed off) and rumpled looking woman (is that a piece of ceiling tile caught in her hair...?)--glaring daggers at the door that has just been slammed in her face, because that's what you do.

She hadn't even finished asking her questions. Rude, not!Mom. Very rude. At least the strange-looking creature that had been shoved out the door with her was helpful enough to find in the spilled contents of her backpack and hand her this device that looks a lot like a very odd cell phone. It's already on and everything, not that Ziva's noticed, wound up as she is. Her voice is slightly hysterical when she speaks--and definitely agitated, because dammit she has a lot to be agitated about.]

This is absurd! I would think that this was a dream, that I hit my head in the explosion and for some reason I imagine this place instead of somewhere that would make sense...!

[Yup, too agitated to speak English properly it would seem. At least, that doesn't sound like a complete sentence, more like she trailed off mid-thought.]

I cannot believe this. And you...

[She glances down at the Pokemon by her side--though in confusion and not in anger, that seems to have mostly blown out of her.]

You look like something from one of McGee's computer games. [To herself:] Oh...I hope that he is all right.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Already this is shaping up into an excellent camaraderie.]

That's a pretty long-term favor.

[:|b awesome.]

That is how it started, however I realized that my own interests were best served by staying.

[She's hardly that altruistic.]

Local charm won you over, huh? Can't say I blame you.

[I mean, considering the alternative. >> ]

Something like that, yes. I had made a number of friends that I found I would rather not leave.

[If by 'local charm' you mean 'not sent on suicide missions' yeah that part's pretty awesome.]

Considering it is practically a cultural taboo for an Israeli to emigrate, it was not a decision made lightly.

[Yes, well done, Ziva, that is in fact exactly what he was insinuating.]

Well, this time your emigration's a little more like exile. You're stuck here for the duration, and as yet nobody's come up with a way of getting back where we all belong. If they had, you can bet I wouldn't be here talking to you right now.

Until then, we must get along it would seem.

[She frowns slightly. She's not used to relying on other things to fight for her.]

What else is there to be done, besides train these...creatures?

I tell you one thing, you get real used to the background music.

[And possibly slightly dependent on earplugs and aspirin, but that's beside the point.]

That's just it. There's nothing else to be done, not as far as the cosmic scheme of things is concerned. The jobs are mundane and entry-level at best, there's no system of government, no judiciary, no social structure. The whole damn place revolves around what you're carrying on your belt. Everything else is whatever anybody decides to make of it on their own.

...that is ridiculous.

[HUMANITY LIVING WITHOUT A SYSTEM OF GOVERNMENT? NO SOCIAL STRUCTURE? WHAT IS THIS MADNESS AND HOW HAS IT NOT EXPLODED INTO ANARCHY.]

...I will just have to 'make something of it.' I do not appreciate being idle for long.

[There's vacation and then there's 'hey you're going camping in the woods and doing nothing more than telling this bizarre monster what to do in order to fight for you' and while she appreciates a bit of the former...]

[COME LIVE WITH HIM AND BE HIS "THIS IS MADNESS" BUDDY, ZIVA. HIS SOUL RAISES ITS VOICE IN SONG AT THE PRESENCE OF OTHER PEOPLE WHO FIND THIS SO UTTERLY STUPID.]

All right, you want the basics, here's what you need to know in a nutshell. You're standing in a town called New Bark. Nearest city to you is three days west on foot. No, there's no car, train, bicycle, rickshaw, magical friendly unicorn, roller skates, streetcar, or any other form of public transit that it would actually make sense to install between your major population centers. The vast majority of what you'll be doing is walking, unless you get lucky and make a friend with something that flies — for most people, that means giant birds. Your travel basics are in your pack, your...chompy-thing is what you'll use for personal security on your way through the dark woods, and when you're out foraging for food, don't eat the native berries.

And if fortune smiles down on you with somebody offering a free ride to Goldenrod City, take it. It's about the only tolerable place in the whole region.

[TOGETHER WE SHALL SKIP THROUGH FIELDS OF WILDFLOWERS AND oh wait no we'll glare and shake our heads at all these shenanigans instead SOUNDS FUN. She facepalms--no infrastructure either this place is HORRIBLE.]

Noted.

[Though the pack is a bit extravagant for what she considers 'basics'. Blame Mossad survival training for that one. She sighs.]

At least it is not snowing yet. I will manage.

[Hell, she'll do more than manage, but.]

We've had our days of rain lately but for the most part the good weather's been holding. Hot as hell some days, though. The record's sitting somewhere around a hundred eleven.

[She is taking this very well. Vastly better than Albert did on his first day, considering he basically planted his feet in New Bark and refused to move until someone came down by air to get him.]

There anything you need? Besides the obvious of a knife, a ride, or a ticket home, none of which you're going to get.

[Wry smile.]

I am of the desert. The heat is nothing I am not used to.

[She shakes her head.]

I have been taught survival methods since I was a child. Inconvenient though it may be, I should at least be able to travel three days without incident.

I am of the humid continental. Give me a comfortable seventy-five and sunny any day.

[But seriously, Ziva, way to be confident and capable even after showing up here, getting the phenomenally stupid rundown, and also having been blown up immediately prior to arrival. You are quickly working your way onto Albert's coveted "People I Hate Least" list.]

If you're out there and you start noticing a ringing in your ears, headache, disorientation, light sensitivity, nausea — you get on this line and send up an SOS.

[It's not like the getting blown up part is anything new for her. And it's a dramatic improvement over the last time she was in mortal peril. Jewish woman held captive in Somalia, not fun.

and does she get a certificate for that 'cause she'll totally put it with the 'people Gibbs will snipe someone's shit out for' one.]

I will indeed do that. I would rather not pass out unknown in the middle of nowhere. That really would ruin my day.

Edited 2012-10-14 05:41 (UTC)

[And it's not like he knows any of that and also he is a trained medical professional and ~~loves everyone like Gandhi~~ a staunch pacifist so hey, the less mortal peril anybody is in the better.

And yes that is approximately how exclusive the list is, she will be receiving her membership card in three to five business days.]

Be pretty uncomfortable, too.

[Did she just snark he is pretty sure she just snarked. A+ WOULD ENGAGE IN CONVERSATION AGAIN.]

[She'll drink to that, even if she is very much not a pacifist.

sweeeeeet do we get decoder rings too?]

With the way my luck has seemed to run lately, I would wake up to a rock in my back and my partner laughing at me. Yes, that is best avoided.

[Yes. Because he is a nerd.]

Your partner McGee?

[/NOSY]

He is too polite. [Not to mention very respectful of Ziva's skill at revenge.] No, my other partner. We are a four-person team. The leader--Gibbs, myself, McGee, and Tony DiNozzo. He would be the one laughing. And perhaps referencing some movie or other.

first

[Video]

[Video]

[Video]

[Video]

[Video]

[Video]

[Video]

[Video]

[Video]

[Video]

[Video]

[Video]

[Video]

[Video]

[Video]

[Video]

[Video]

[Video]